Finally, I can get back to the metaphysical part of my journey! I truly felt that, without the backstory I've shared the past months, little of what I will be sharing in the coming months would make sense. There was a lot of stuff that took me a while to understand, and, I knew if I was going to share it, I better make sure I understood it first.
So, how do you re-open metaphysical doors when 1) you have no idea how you closed them in the first place and 2) you're not sure you even know what you're talking about? Turns out, it might just be as simple as asking the question because, from the moment I put it out there, things began to happen.
Almost immediately, I was again aware of voices in my ears. There was a hum, like being in a crowd and hearing hundreds of conversations going on around you. But at least it didn't seem as overwhelming to me this time. There was this feeling of wonder and disbelief coupled with a deep sense of knowing. It was comforting and unnerving at the same time but somehow, I felt like I was supposed to follow this path, that it was important I was finally willing to face this part of myself.
I wasn't sure why or if there was really some higher purpose but, I was becoming more and more aware of the energies around me. I would get uncomfortable in crowds or around certain people. I could hear conversations of people who were nowhere me and I seemed to know things before they even happened... I often knew who was on the phone when it rang, what people were going to say before they said it or things that would happen about 3 seconds later... But it all still seemed kind of random. That is, until "he" came.
We knew each other from school but I hadn't seen or heard from him in decades. Out of the blue, he messaged me through an online profile. He hoped I remembered him... that I'd been on his mind... so he decided to reach out and say hi, to see how my life turned out. Of course I remembered him. Back in school I had a terrible crush on him. But, he was a few years older so, I'd been certain his knowledge of me, was minimal at best. It was a pleasant surprise to hear from him and I enjoyed the cursory catch up, hearing about his family, his work and life in general. I was impressed with all he'd accomplished and the pride he expressed regarding his family. He seemed happy and I was glad but, there was something more...
I'm a curvy girl, always have been. My curves arrived early and led to endless issues with sexual harassment when I was in school. However, if it seemed you were friends with this football player or that soccer guy, you could usually find a level of protection. I learned which boys to avoid and which ones I could hide behind and found I could move through the halls with less hassle if I walked close to certain people. I enjoyed having guy friends but, there were always a few who'd try to get close to me for the wrong reasons. I learned to feel the difference and protect myself. Through the years I have been blessed with a number of really wonderful male friends who offer unique perspectives and push me to think about things in a different way.
I remembered him as painfully shy and not one I'd ever had issues with but, when this "boy" from my past popped up, memories of school came rushing back, as several of my tormentors were among his peers. But, his energy was light, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that conversation came easily, especially since, in school he would barely speak to me. This felt different than I would have expected. It felt familiar, as if we'd known each other forever, when in reality, we hadn't been in contact for 30 years!
After our initial "chat," we said we'd keep in touch and, you know how that goes but, every now and again he'd send a message. Over time we began to connect a bit more; a text... an email... until it seemed we were communicating almost every day. We lived states apart, both married with kids (and dogs) so it wasn't anything "more," just talk. I talk to people all day and friends will often reach out or text because they know I can usually create a few minutes to connect if needed.
I felt as though I'd known him all my life. Yet I barely knew him...
He's a science mind, an actual genius and, while he didn't necessarily believe all of the metaphysical stuff I was learning, he didn't dis-believe either as much of it resonated with his knowledge of quantum physics. And, while still primarily through email or text, our conversations were intelligent and interesting. It got to where it seemed common for me to be reminded of a thought I wanted to share seconds before an email or text would arrive. It seemed so odd but, it was like I could feel him coming.
One day there was a text and, shortly after my reply, I suddenly felt knots in my stomach and my shoulders were tight. It was him. He was angry; very angry. I had no idea how I knew that, but I was certain it was true. I was aware I could feel feelings and energies of those around me but, generally I was unable to attach them to specific people unless they were right there. He was at work halfway across the country and nowhere near me. Yet, I knew these feelings were his and not mine. I couldn't imagine what I could have said or done in such an innocuous conversation to upset him or why I felt so strongly that he was. Still, in my core, I knew I was right. I apologized immediately, and moments later, his reply assured me he was not upset with me at all.
I was relieved. Had I been wrong? I was so sure he was angry. "I'm very glad you were not angry with me," I asked. "But, were you angry about something else?"
It turned out he had indeed been very angry. He shared that he'd been on a phone call that had gotten very heated and he was quite upset, but it had nothing to do with me.
"I felt you..." I said. "All of a sudden I felt anger, frustration and tension. But there's nothing going on here to warrant that. I knew it was you..."
He was stunned. I was stunned. I felt it so clearly! How could I do that??
After that it seemed like skill after skill came alive for me... One day I asked him about the car he drove and what his commute was like and realized I had seen it all just as he described it. It was as if I were seeing it through someone else's eyes.
Super Bowl Sunday came, and I felt like a fly on the wall in a home I'd never been inside. I saw him sitting on the couch watching the game with his brother. I could see it as clearly as if I had been there myself. The next day I asked him;
"Is your couch a sectional type...?" Yes "Light brown leather?" Yes "With a recliner on one end?" Yes "The left side?" Yes "That is your spot?" Yes "You were wearing shorts and a dark colored sweatshirt?" Yes "The TV is a large flat-screen mounted higher on the wall?" Yes
I asked him question after question; about the room, wall color, shape and color of the furniture, the type of TV, where the kitchen was in relation to the room, where he sat, where his brother sat, what they wore, what they ate... time and again the answer came back; Yes. I even knew what his wife and kids were doing in the other room!
How could I do this? I knew I was an empath but, holy shit, am I a psychic?