September 9, 2020

As I write this, we are in the time of the full moon in Pisces and emotions are high... It's been a productive, yet extremely frustrating day and I find myself again skirting an emotion I can barely control.

I. Am. Angry... 

Perhaps it's more accurate to say I am finally angry.

It's been almost nine months and I still think of him every single day, repeatedly asking the ceiling in my home office or bedroom why he left and why he did the things he did.

Alcoholic, they said.  Having not seen him in three decades, I had no idea.  And though I knew he drank both by his schedule and the prominent "beer belly," when we finally met face to face, it was his heart that received most of my focus.  Knowing too well the st...

July 9, 2020

If you follow me at all, there's a good chance you already know I have two college age boys.  Eli, the older one, graduated college (in the living room) over Mother's Day Weekend this past May and Dylan is training with the expectation he will be returning to school and soccer, for his sophomore year this fall.  

I talk about them a lot.  Anyone who knows me, knows I adore my boys and (other than the inflated grocery bills) having them at home has been the best thing about this pandemic.  And, while it's certainly not a secret, far fewer people know I have been an egg donor several times, and have other children "out there" somewhere...

When Robert and I decided we were ready to...

June 11, 2020

Shalom - Hola - Aloha...  Have you ever tried to talk to someone when you don't speak the language?


It can be agonizingly frustrating.  We often use hand gestures or speak more loudly, as if somehow this will help. 

There can be silence, confusion and even the fear of sending the wrong message, all because we don't know how
to connect.  And then... (hopefully) there comes a breakthrough.  A connection, a sound or smell, perhaps even a few words...

In my life, I know I am blessed for so many reasons.  Not the least of which is, I am not at risk of being murdered if I go out for a run or get stopped by the police.  I've also made it to my 50s and, while I have watched many l...

May 24, 2020

If you've been following me at all, you likely know that the man who is my twin flame, recently passed to spirit. It was unexpected, very fast and left me, and

April 2, 2020

My kids are home from college!!  I'm pretty sure I'm not the only parent who's not completely enamored of the whole empty nest thing.  Though I understand that's usually a smaller group compared to those  celebrating this milestone, and having the house to themselves again.  

I work at home and my spouse travels for his work so, I've often had the house to myself.

And, even when they were "home," my boys weren't often here, they were busy.  They had soccer practices, extra training, jobs, etc... so, for me, it wasn't a matter of getting used to the quiet. I missed being able to just chat with them and see their faces.

When Eli was still dating his former girlfriend, he'd often cal...

February 26, 2020

On Friday the 13th, I sat in the sanctuary of our synagogue as Shabbat services began.  I love attending services as the music is very healing and uplifting to me.  I often receive channeled information from Spirit during the service so, I routinely keep a small journal on my lap rather than a siddur (prayer book).  I listen more closely to the readings because I am not looking at their words on a page, and I sing along to the music while my hand follows its own path across the page.  I'm no stranger to automatic writing and am often profoundly moved by the words waiting for me at the end, which I have no memory of writing.  Some days I write more than others but, on this night, I wrote only a single word; live....

December 11, 2019

As I write this, the man I've identified as Twin, is lying in a hospital fighting for his life.  So, I'm feeling the need to focus on something a bit lighter just now...

When I was getting out of college, my dear friend Jessica (who became my boys' godmother) wanted to get me a kitten for graduation.  But, since we didn't know where I was heading after college, she did the next best thing.  She got me all the things I would need so, when I was settled somewhere, I would be ready to get one!  When I landed in Boston for a while, my then-boyfriend took me to go looking for a kitten.  I knew I wanted one named Winston (I'm not really sure why) and after a few tries, we found this gorgeous, fluffy gray and white ball of f...

November 6, 2019

You know that saying, when the Universe closes a door, it opens a window somewhere else in your life?  I've always liked that idea, and I have tried to lean in to it.
Then there's that other one, "God won't give you more than you can handle."
I fucking hate that one!  It' makes me want to scream, "What the hell made you think I could handle this??"

Door after door had closed, I just wasn't convinced windows were actually opening and I was starting to feel like I might suffocate.  The door to Twin closed and it almost killed me.  The door to Vampire closed.  And while I knew that was definitely for my highest good, the damage he did on the way out made the whole thing exponentially worse, and sent me spiraling back i...

August 27, 2019

Spiritual Awakening rarely happens gently.  Unless you've been raised by spiritually awake people and have "woke" as long as you can remember, it's much more common for spiritual awakening to feel more like being hit in the head with a two by four.  Something happens that completely shifts your perception of reality and you realize things will never be the same.

For me, it was when Michael died.  Not only did he start connecting with me from the "other side," he also began manipulating things in my world as well.  For one, he enhanced the communication between Twin (Him) and I so our connection deepened much faster than it would have, had it been allowed to develop more naturally.  But Michael had an ag...

August 9, 2019

I don't know what possessed me but, one day I woke up with a major need to get my hands on some Tarot cards.  I don't think I'd ever even seen a deck up close and yet I felt like I needed to have one, now. Not really knowing where to go, I decided to start with the Barnes & Noble down the hill from my house.  It seemed as good a place to start as any other and oddly enough, they had some. It seemed odd to me anyway, that such a commercial place would have metaphysical anything.  And, it gave me a giggle that they even had two different kinds of Tarot decks. Whatever this sudden urge to own Tarot cards was about, one of the available options seemed to suitably quell the need.  The cards felt good in my hands and, stra...

Please reload

Recent Posts

September 9, 2020

May 24, 2020

February 26, 2020

November 6, 2019

August 27, 2019

August 9, 2019

Please reload

Archive
Please reload

When you come to the edge of all the light you know,

and you are about to step off into the darkness of the
unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen:

There will be something solid to stand on

or you will be taught how to fly...

- Barbara Winter

  • Black Facebook Icon
  • Black Instagram Icon
  • Black Twitter Icon